I Asked for Side Effects, and God Said: Say Less

How to Keep Your Doctors on Their Toes: A Masterclass

On Wednesday, I was admitted to the hospital for a new type of treatment for my type of cancer which required close monitoring. We got to the hospital early, but if you’ve ever been to a hospital, due to all the procedures, treatment didn’t start until later in the evening. The purpose of the visit was to infuse a micro dose (took around 5 hours) to see how my body would respond.

I had asked for prayers that I would experience some side effects—because that would mean the treatment was working. Well, let’s just say God heard those prayers loud and clear! Side effects hit fast, and I think I may need to be more specific in my prayer requests next time. :)

With this type of treatment, they closely monitor for a condition called Cytokine Release Syndrome (CRS) and neurotoxicity—basically, signs that my immune system is responding aggressively to the treatment. CRS symptoms include fever, rapid heart rate, and blood pressure changes. For neurotoxicity, they had me do the same series of tests multiple times a day: “Where are you? What year is it?” They’d hold up a pen and ask me what it was, make me count backward from 100 by tens, and had me write the same sentence over and over to check for handwriting changes. I now don’t think I’ll ever forget that 'The bald eagle is the national bird.' Thankfully, I didn’t have any neurological changes…as far as I am aware.

Within 20-30 minutes after the infusion, I started getting chills. Then came the fever (102+) and the rapid heart rate (150+). We were surprised at how fast everything escalated because typically side effects become apparent 8–24 hours after treatment. This treatment was new to my nurses doing the infusion but they were familiar with CAR-T, which has a similar response protocol, but still, it was a little unsettling thinking about how new this treatment is but at the same time so thankful that I have this option.

As my symptoms worsened, concerns grew. They gave me meds to try to lower the fever, ran multiple labs, a chest X-ray—basically everything possible to rule out an infection. Then they started discussing giving me medication to calm the CRS, but that also risked potentially lessening the response of the treatment. Typically, this decision isn’t made until later, but because my symptoms were progressing so fast, they wanted to get ahead of it.

We weren’t initially sold on that plan because I felt since I’m younger than the typical patient for this treatment, I might be able to tolerate the symptoms longer than most. So, we did what any normal, rational person would do—woke up my oncologist at 1:00 am. We talked through the situation, and he ultimately agreed with the rest of the team: it was time to start proactively addressing the risk of severe CRS. And as soon as they administered them, everything calmed down within minutes. One of the medications was a strong steroid, which meant that I got absolutely no sleep that night. But I figured I’d catch up the next day… or so I thought.

When I woke up in the morning, I noticed a pain in my lower right back near my kidney. At first, it was tolerable, but then it quickly escalated to a level of pain I had never experienced before. And this is coming from someone who has had unmedicated births. Nothing I did relieved it. We ran through several pain meds. Eventually, Morphine and Dilaudid worked, but even then, it only provided about an hour of relief at a time.

Given the severity of the pain, they decided to do a CT scan, which confirmed that the mass on my kidney had significantly enlarged due to a temporary tumor flare. Which, in a way, was good news—because it meant the treatment was working! Not long after that, the pain started to subside, and the rest of the night was much more relaxed. We finally got a good night’s sleep.

By the third day, I was still in the hospital mostly for extra monitoring since I had a fever the first night. But by then, it was just a waiting game.

The good news? We got discharged evening of day 3. And let me tell you, nothing could beat going home and finally hugging and kissing our sweet girls!

Moving Forward

All things I’m not thrilled about, but the majority of serious complications in cases like mine come from infections during treatment. So, I want to do everything I can to minimize risks such as masking, avoiding raw vegetables and fruits, avoiding large gatherings, etc. It’s like pandemic times all over again, but it’ll just be me this time. So, if you see me acting like a germaphobe, please don’t judge.

Thank You

I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone involved in the research that made this treatment possible. In particular, I want to thank the research teams and participating hospitals across 13 countries for their dedication in completing and publishing the study last year. This treatment is a game-changer for people in my situation. Just a few years ago, patients who were ineligible for CD19 CAR T-cell therapy had very low survival odds after early relapse—only about 25% two-year survival. Now, with this treatment, around 40% of patients are cancer-free at the two-year follow-up and the hope is that most of these patients are cured in the long term. Truly incredible.

I also want to extend a heartfelt thank you to all the doctors, nurses, and staff involved in my care. I have been treated with such kindness, skill, and dedication—I couldn’t be more grateful.

To my in-laws—thank you, again. None of this would have been possible without you stepping in to take care of our girls during what turned into a much longer hospital stay than we expected. Being away from them was hard, but knowing they were safe, loved, and in the best hands made all the difference. And then, finally—that moment we walked through the door. Seeing Emily and Hannah running toward us, their faces lighting up with the biggest smiles, their little arms wrapping around us in the tightest hugs—it was everything. Tears instantly welled up in our eyes. We were home.

To my friends and family—thank you. For always checking in on me—not just on my health, but on my heart. For lifting me up in prayer, making me smile, and showing up in ways big and small. The meals, the rides to Emmie's extracurriculars, the constant outpouring of love. And to my prayer warriors—those saying novenas, offering rosaries, and having Masses said for me—there are no words to express my gratitude. You all have made me feel so deeply cared for, covered in love, and never alone in this fight.

Songs That Have Uplifted Me

• Doxology – Kat

• I Get Overwhelmed Sometimes – Abbie Gamboa

• Humbled Heart – Sarah Kroger

• Impossible Things – Christy Nockels

• River of Grace – Christy Nockels

• For the Better – Max Brodie

• Shepherd of My Soul – Rivers & Robots

Books I’m Reading and Recommend

• Jesus, I Trust in You – Sr. Faustina Maria Pia, S.V.

• I Believe in Love – Fr. Jean C.J. D’Elbée

Current Prayer Requests

• That my body handles the treatment next week better, which will unfortunately also now have to be hospitalized due to my reaction.

• Continued wisdom and guidance for my medical team as they make decisions.

• My surrender and trust in God through all of this.

• Strength and rest for my family and support team.

With all my love,

Blessy