Treatment, Tests, and the Timeless Gift of Motherhood

Reflections on Motherhood, Peace in the Waiting, and a Historic Moment in the Church

A belated Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers reading this post! Whether you’re in the thick of it with littles running around your feet, waiting and hoping for motherhood, carrying the weight of loss, or mothering in a spiritual or nurturing way—thank you. You are seen and cherished.

As I’ve mentioned before, I want to use this blog not just to keep everyone updated, but to give my thoughts a home—especially for my daughters. I want them to be able to look back one day and understand not just what was happening in the world around us, but what was stirring in my heart.

Last Wednesday, I had another round of treatment. It went smoothly, and I’ve been feeling good overall after giving my body a bit of time to recover from the usual side effects. Thank you to everyone who continues to check in, send meals, help with the girls, and pray—it truly makes a difference.

Before my next treatment, I’ll be having another PET scan, along with a test called MRD (Minimal Residual Disease) testing. It’s a more sensitive and precise test that can detect even the smallest traces of cancer. In many ways, it provides a clearer picture than the scan itself. It’s hard not to feel a bit anxious, but I also feel hopeful. I know that whatever comes, we’re not walking through it alone.

Mother’s Day always brings up a swirl of emotions, but this year, it stirred more reflection than usual. I’ve been thinking a lot about motherhood—not just in my own life, but in a broader sense. Motherhood isn’t just a role within the family. It shapes the culture. It forms the next generation’s hearts, desires, values, and how they see the world. It may not always be visible or praised, but its impact is everywhere.

Growing up, I wanted to be a mother from a very young age. I was that little girl carrying her baby doll everywhere, rocking her to sleep and pretending to feed her. But as I got older, I started to feel like I had to justify that desire—as if it wasn’t enough. I grew up in a culture where motherhood and marriage came after you had your career figured out. Where people introduced themselves by what they did, not who they were. Where the question was always, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”—and if I answered, “a mother,” the response was usually, “No, I mean your real job.”

For a while, I didn’t see motherhood with the admiration I do now. It was treated as small or even undesirable—something to consider “later,” once everything else was in place. But now, I see it as the most important thing I’ve ever been entrusted with.

My five-year-old daughter sometimes talks about how she can’t wait to be either a mother or a religious sister—and my heart just swells. That she sees those as beautiful, meaningful vocations… it’s everything I could have hoped for. I do get a little sad sometimes when I talk to people in their early twenties and hear marriage spoken about like an afterthought—something to put off, joke about. I often hear people say, “Oh I’m nowhere near ready for that,” treating it as a milestone to reach someday, rather than a foundation to build on.

Most would say we got married fairly young—at 24 and 25. But the truth is, we felt God calling us to marriage even earlier. We brought up our desire to marry then, but it was met with concern. Not from a lack of love, but from fear—fear of what others might think, and worry that marriage at that age would derail our education or careers. It wasn’t that our parents didn’t want the best for us—they absolutely did. They were shaped by a culture that prioritized security and achievement first. That’s what they knew. And I don’t blame them at all. They were doing what they thought was right.

But deep down, we knew what God was asking of us—and we just weren’t strong enough yet to follow that call boldly. I regret that. Not because of the timing itself, but because we let the culture’s expectations have more of a voice than God’s call.

What I want most for my daughters is that they grow up with the freedom to say yes to what God made them to be—whether that’s marriage, motherhood, religious life, or something else entirely. I want them to know that their worth isn’t in a résumé, a degree, or a paycheck. It’s in their identity as daughters of God. Matrimony—literally rooted in the word for “mother”—isn’t a lesser calling. It’s a holy one.

So to all the mothers who helped shape the way I now see motherhood—thank you. Thank you for living out your vocation with grace, even when no one applauded it. Thank you for showing me that being a mother isn’t “just” anything. It’s everything.

A Historic Moment for the Church

Another thing that’s been on my heart lately—one I couldn’t leave out—is the incredible experience of watching the election of our new Holy Father. What a gift it was to walk through that historic moment with my children right by my side. One of the many blessings of homeschooling is the freedom to pause everything for moments like this. We prayed for the cardinals in the conclave, talked through how the process works, and then—together—we watched the smoke. The white smoke!

I’ll never forget the joy and wonder in their eyes as they saw it unfold live. I think it stirred something in them, the same way it stirred something deep in me.

And now… Pope Leo XIV.

How incredible is it to have a pope from America? It’s something I never imagined in my lifetime. When he first stepped out onto that balcony, he didn’t speak in English—but once we learned he was American, there was this wave of excitement. Knowing that we’ll soon hear him speak to us in a voice we recognize, in a language we understand without translation—it brought a closeness I hadn’t expected. It made everything feel more personal, more real.

What struck me the most, though, were the tears slowly rolling down his cheeks as he looked out over the world. It was so raw and human. You could almost feel the weight of the moment pressing on him—the sacrifice he had just accepted, the cross he willingly picked up. But you could also see something else: a deep peace. The kind that only comes when you’re being held up by the prayers of millions. I’ve felt that peace too—especially in the hardest moments of treatment—and it brought me to tears to witness that strength and surrender in his face.

I trust and pray that Pope Leo XIV will lead our Church with grace, clarity, and a shepherd’s heart. He knows our modern culture intimately—he’s lived in it, wrestled with it—and I believe that gives him a unique ability to speak truth into our time with both courage and compassion.
God bless Pope Leo XIV.

Current Prayer Requests

• For good results on the upcoming PET scan and MRD test

• For continued strength and peace as we move through each treatment

• My counts are really low this week and everyone at home is sick, I'm starting to feel the beginnings of sickness, so please pray that I remain healthy

• For my daughters to grow in virtue, joy, and deep trust in God

• For all mothers—those in joyful seasons and those in hard ones

• For Pope Leo XIV—that the Holy Spirit may guide him with wisdom, courage, and grace as he shepherds the Church

With all my love,

Blessy